Tuesday morning: Mr Morello writes: A terrible gloom hangs over the gaff following the Mrs’ return from her “Face of Sainsbury’s” meeting yesterday. A very unfortunate misunderstanding. Sammy had arrived at Sainsbury’s HQ rather early to collect the wife in the Bantam, the sidecar bearing Enoch (the Mrs’ top goat), who enjoys an occasional high-speed airing.
THE FACE OF DESTINY: PART 1
Monday morning: Urgent News from the menageries. Mr Morello writes: the wife has just left for Sainsbury’s HQ in full power gear – a monstrous ensemble of bright red coat, twin set and massive hat with handbag, all offset by her unusual scorpion brooch, last seen desported during her chairing of the Acton Ladies’ Stoats’ Club AGM last July.
HAPPY TIMES
Breaking news: Geoff Cundell (ginger-headed nosey-parker from No. 36) has many disadvantages in life. For a start last weekend the carrot-topped bachelor misfit had some sort of spell or fatwa placed on him by the Mrs for upsetting the goats with continual jokes about curries.
CELEBRITY MINI-PORKERS
Wednesday 9am: Excited queues have been forming overnight outside the renowned Morello’s Menageries, in Park View Road, Ealing. Police and emergency services have been called in to control the well-behaved but enormous crowds building up amid sensational scenes of mass hysteria and near panic.
AN UNEXPECTED VISITOR
Tuesday, first thing: We’ve just received a nice little beast at the menageries. It was left on the doorstep this morning, in a crate. It’s well fed, but a strange and rather meek
creature that never says anything. Somewhat bigger than a fox, but the same coat. At first it mostly liked the sun. But now it seems to want to inhabit dark, shadowy places, and keeps trying to get into the fox’s lair (which has run away anyway).
THE HIPPO AND THE ANCHOVY
Monday morning: and the Mrs (Rosetta) was in a right strop. She stormed downstairs in her “Rocky IV” dressing gown and full curlers, face like thunder. Maureece (polecat) went flying, and even Enoch took cover, standing shivering under the stairs, eyes like saucers.